they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize