I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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