I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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