Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
