I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
