The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
