What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
