My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My vagina just clenched in fear
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
