Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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