I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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