I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
