Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
