Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
