is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
