I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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