my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
