Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
