Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
