Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Pooping to opera.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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