32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
