she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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