I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
