I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize