I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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