you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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