But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
