and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize