Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How does one acquire holy water?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
