if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We need to get me chipped asap
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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