So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
