hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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