Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
