I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
