Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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