Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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