We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
