You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
