I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
