i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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