saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
