What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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