is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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