sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My balls are so social today.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
