So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
