Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
