they're like a gay fantastic four
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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