I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
