Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
