Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
