Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
