Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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