if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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