my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
