You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
