He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
