i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
