Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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