Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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