i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
