She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize