she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
