Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
