My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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