Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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