great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
