Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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