I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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