I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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